What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
