Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
