I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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