Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
50% drunk capacity currently
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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