i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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