"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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