you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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