We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
