Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
