i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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