after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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