my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
