He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
