All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
