Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
