Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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