I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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