hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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