So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
