I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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