Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
