chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it's like iHOP with fire
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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