Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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