I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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