all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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