i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
