everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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