i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
