I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
