Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
