we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
