You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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