think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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