have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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