Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
