did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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