This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
