Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
