I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
