He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
