for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
