Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
