i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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