drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
