Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just google imaged poop.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
