im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
