I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
