I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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