i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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