her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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